I sit in rooms with intelligent, passionate women all the time, and I hear some version of this:

“I’m really good at what I do. I didn’t sign up to be a content creator. I’m certainly not dancing. It just all feels overwhelming.”

And sometimes:

“I have too much integrity to behave that way.”

Okay, so!! I have so much to say about this.

If showing up on camera feels like an invitation to become someone you don’t recognize, of course you’re resisting it. You’ve put time, care and expertise into your work. The idea of squeezing all of that into whatever the internet is doing this week can feel ridiculous.

If you’re wondering how to be confident on camera without feeling like you’re performing a personality that isn’t yours, I want to be very clear: you can share what you know, let people hear your voice and make your work more visible without compromising your integrity.

The internet is loud. Curate what you let in.

The internet is loud and wild. A literal collection of all the voices, all the ideas, all the opinions. It can feel overwhelming for sensitive, thoughtful business owners who don’t want to add to the noise.

So there are two things I need you to know here.

First, curate your feed. Unfollow or mute voices that don’t serve your goals or your well-being. If someone’s content consistently leaves you feeling behind, inadequate or convinced you need an entirely different personality to succeed, you can stop inviting that voice into your day.

Second, you don’t have to show up like anyone else but you.

And now you’re thinking, “Oh wow, groundbreaking! Just show up as myself.”

I know. So much easier said than done. Especially when you open your camera and suddenly forget every intelligent thing you’ve ever said.

Personally, I love showing up online. I’ve literally spent therapy sessions trying to figure out why I’m wired this way. I just am! 😂

But you don’t have to love it the way I do to find a way of showing up that feels good to you. Wanting to grow your business and help potential customers understand what you offer is a solid reason to press record. You don’t have to fall in love with content creation.

Dancing can be fun if you love dancing. A trend can work if it feels like you. Neither is required to share your expertise or market your business online.

Someone else’s way of being visible doesn’t have to become yours.

“I’m confident. I just hate my face.”

Here’s the other thing I hear from women:

“I’m really confident. I just hate my face.”

Or:

“I just have to lose 15 pounds first.”

Ummm. Right?

I’m pretty sure if you look up confidence in the dictionary, “I’ll let myself be seen once I’ve fixed my face and body” isn’t it.

You can be confident in your work and still feel uncomfortable seeing yourself on a screen. I get this. My face held me back for a long time.

I felt offended by the size of my forehead and victimized by my crooked nostrils. As women, we are programed to be awful towards ourselves.

But that is a VERY shit reason not to do the work that is inside of you.

I say that with love, because I had to say it to myself first.

How much longer was I going to make my ideas wait while I negotiated with my reflection? What exactly did my forehead have to do with whether I could help someone?

You don’t have to love every angle of your face before you’re allowed to share something valuable. And you don’t have to make loving your appearance another assignment to complete before you begin.

How to be confident on camera when your brain keeps getting in the way

Here is the mindset shift I had to embrace.

I’m showing up for all the big-foreheaded girls out there who told themselves they were too hideous to be happy. 😂 Again, I wish I were joking. As a kid and, okay, also as an adult, I’d literally stare at Christina Ricci and wonder how she seemed so happy with her high forehead.

That’s how deeply I’d bought into the story that a feature like mine could somehow disqualify me from enjoying my life.

I’m showing up for all the women over 40 who feel like total assholes for reinventing themselves and worry they’re becoming a midlife cliché.

I’m showing up because it doesn’t matter how I look, how old I am or what other garbage my mind likes to throw at me. I want to be fully expressed. I want to know what I’m capable of in this life, and I want to be a good example to my kids, and you sure as hell don’t need to be a perfect 10 to live out your dreams.

Learning how to be confident on camera didn’t start with suddenly loving how I looked or sounded. It started with finding a reason for showing up that mattered more to me than the discomfort of being seen.

For you, that reason might be helping a woman understand something she’s struggling with. It might be giving a potential client the chance to hear how you think. It might be finally talking about the work you care so deeply about instead of hoping someone discovers it on their own.

Ask yourself: Who could this help if I stopped making it about how I look?

You might still feel nervous. But now you have somewhere useful to put your attention.

How to show up on camera without compromising your integrity

Before you press record, do a gut check.

• What is the purpose of this content?
• Who am I serving, and how?
• How does this help me reach my goal?
• Can I stand behind what I’m about to say?

You’re allowed to have a business goal. Helping someone understand your offer, inviting them to work with you or explaining why your work matters can all be useful, honest content.

You’re also allowed to have boundaries. You don’t owe the internet your children, your marriage, your hardest moments or a version of yourself that feels wrong just because someone says vulnerability performs well.

Share what you’re comfortable sharing. If a trend or a script makes you feel like you’re borrowing someone else’s personality, change it.

And when you catch yourself thinking, “I have too much integrity for this,” get curious.

What specifically feels out of alignment? Is it a claim you don’t believe? A tactic you don’t want to use? Or is it the discomfort of letting people see you?

Those deserve different responses. Honour the boundary when something goes against your values. Give yourself a little encouragement when the message feels right and being seen feels scary.

What stories are you telling yourself about women who take up space?

I’d also invite you to reflect on the stories you tell yourself about the “type of woman” who takes up space, expresses her wants and needs, and shares her mission without apologizing or asking permission.

Do you think she’s full of herself? Attention-seeking? A little too much?

Where did you learn that? And how might that story be holding you back?

If you judge other women for letting themselves be seen, it makes sense that showing up would feel uncomfortable. You’re trying to give yourself permission to do something you’ve decided women shouldn’t do.

You don’t have to love everyone’s content or agree with how they show up. But you can get curious about why a woman’s willingness to be visible bothers you.

Maybe she’s giving herself permission to do something you want to do, too.

Speak to one woman who needs your message

Here’s something simple to try before you record.

Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Picture the one person who needs your message.

Maybe she’s a client who asks you the same question every month. Maybe she’s the woman who approached you after an event. Maybe she’s an earlier version of you, trying to figure something out.

What does she need to hear? How would you explain it if she were sitting across from you?

Now open your eyes and speak to her.

No dancing. No gimmicks. Just you, speaking from the heart.

If you need somewhere to start, finish this sentence:

“One thing I wish more women knew about ___ is ___.”

Explain that one thing. You don’t need to fit your entire business into one video.

And when you watch it back, check whether your message is clear and your voice can be heard. Try not to turn the review into a forensic investigation of your face.

Your nostrils have had enough attention.

What if only 179 people see your video?

Get really clear on what success means to you.

Is your post a bust if only 179 people see it? Or could reaching some of the right people be a meaningful step?

Imagine speaking at an in-person event with 179 people in attendance. That would be extraordinary.

Online, it’s easy to look at that number and think, “Well, that was embarrassing.”

The scale of the internet can mess with our perspective.

Remember, people can watch your content without liking, commenting or sharing. You won’t always know what landed or who is quietly getting to know your work.

But a quiet response doesn’t prove your message had no value.

Look for signs connected to your goal: a thoughtful reply, a question about your service, someone signing up for your emails or a client saying, “I’ve been watching your videos.”

Let those things count, too.

Now open your eyes and speak to her.

The camera doesn’t need you to be perfect

You don’t have to resolve every insecurity before you press record. You don’t have to become louder, younger, thinner or an entirely different person.

You have something to say. You have work you care about. And you’re allowed to let people see it while you’re still figuring out how to be confident on camera.

Give your visions the respect they deserve. Choose one thing you want one woman to understand, take a breath and begin.

Your forehead can come, too. 😂

You don’t have to figure this out alone

If you’d love to create content to market for your business but keep getting stuck between “I know I need to do this” and actually doing it, that’s exactly where my VIP Content Filming Days come in.

I have lots of tips and tricks up my sleeve to help you feel more confident on camera, along with strategy, creative direction and plenty of encouragement.

And you’ll be happy to know I won’t force you to start by talking straight to the camera. We can begin with footage of you doing what you do, capturing the details of your work and letting you get comfortable along the way.

You’ll leave with months’ worth of content to draw from, created around your business, your goals and your personality.

Bring me your big, audacious vision. I’ll help you find a way to show it that feels like you.

Get in touch to book your VIP Content Filming Day. Book your free discovery call here.

Want a smaller first step? Download my free Camera Confidence Guide and start giving yourself permission to be seen.