A practical reset for women in business when triggers, comparison, and self-doubt start running the show.

If you read The Women Who Trigger Us, you already know where this conversation started.

That moment when another woman’s success or business goals hits a nerve.

The tight chest.
The quick comparison.
The subtle spiral your brain can go into before you even realize it’s happening.

Triggers are uncomfortable, but they also tell us so much about ourselves.

The real danger isn’t the trigger itself.

It’s what happens after, when comparison takes over, and suddenly you’re questioning ideas you were excited about five minutes ago.

Why Comparison Shows Up for Women in Business

This happens to almost every woman building something meaningful.

Not because we’re bad people.
Not because we secretly want other women to fail.

But because when you build a business, your identity, creativity, and visibility are all out in the open.

Which means comparison can sneak in fast.
The good news?

The goal isn’t to eliminate triggers.
The goal is to catch the comparison spiral early and bring yourself back into alignment.

5 Steps to Shift Out of Comparision Mode

Here are five ways to do exactly that.

1. Name the Trigger Without Shaming Yourself

The moment you feel it —
the tight chest, the comparison spiral, the eye roll, the urge to scroll faster — pause.

Instead of saying:

I shouldn’t feel this way.
Try saying:
Interesting. Something here is lighting me up.

Triggers aren’t moral failures. They’re information.

When we shame ourselves for feeling competitive, we miss the message entirely. The goal isn’t to judge the feeling, it’s simply to notice it.

2. Ask: What Exactly Is Uncomfortable Here?

Vague jealousy keeps you stuck. Specific curiosity sets you free.
Ask yourself:

• Is she doing something I wish I’d given myself permission to do?
• Is she executing an idea I’ve been sitting on?
• Is she showing up with a level of confidence, visibility, or ease I want for myself?
• Is this actually about her or about a part of me that feels unseen or under-expressed?

Nine times out of ten, the discomfort has very little to do with the other woman. It’s about a desire, fear, or an edge inside you asking to be acknowledged.

It’s your invitation.

3. Separate Similar Work From Identical Work

Here’s a reframe that changes everything.
No one can do your work the way you do it.

Tone.
Lived experience.
Energy.
Values.
Boundaries.

These things aren’t interchangeable.

We would never look at our eight-year-old and say:
“You can’t do that because Lily down the street is also doing it.”

We intuitively understand that children express the same interests in wildly different ways.

That logic doesn’t disappear in adulthood.
We just forget it when the stakes feel higher.

4. Use Comparison as Creative Intel (Not a Weapon)

Instead of asking:
How do I compete with her?

Try asking:
What is this showing me about what I want to refine or strengthen?

Comparison can become:

• a clarity tool
• a creativity prompt
• a mirror for your next level

If someone’s work feels activating, it may be pointing you toward:

• sharper messaging
• clearer boundaries
• bolder visibility
• a deeper commitment to your values

Let the information inform you — not harden you.

5. Choose Abundance as a Daily Practice (Not a Personality Trait)

An abundance mindset isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It’s a practice you choose — again and again — especially when it’s inconvenient.

Living collaboration over competition looks like:

• Staying in your lane even when others are loud
• Celebrating wins without comparison math
• Trusting that your people will find you
• Remembering that success isn’t a limited resource

When you stay authentic, aligned, and in integrity, there is room for everyone.

Including you.

Final Thought

Collaboration over competition isn’t about pretending we never feel threatened.

It’s about being honest enough to look at our triggers, brave enough to learn from them, and grounded enough to keep building anyway.

We don’t need fewer women doing meaningful work. We need more women doing it without tearing themselves or each other down in the process.

And that starts with how we meet ourselves in moments of discomfort.

Reflection Prompts for Women in Business

If comparison shows up in your business, try asking yourself:

• What part of this woman’s work is activating something in me?
• Is there an idea or direction I’ve been hesitating to pursue?
• What would collaboration over competition look like in this situation?

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About the Author

Christine Coughlin is a content creator and the founder of YVR Creatives, a community dedicated to helping female entrepreneurs share their message, build meaningful connections, and grow their businesses.

She helps women amplify their voices through in-person events and VIP content-creation days by guiding them to feel confident on camera and to create impactful content.

Christine also curates inspiring in-person events, including monthly masterminds, social events, and lunch-and-learns, offering opportunities for women to network, share knowledge, and connect within a supportive aligned community.

Christine lives in the suburbs of Vancouver with her husband, three kids, and one million plant babies. A self-proclaimed personal development junkie, she finds peace and inspiration in nature, whether hiking through the woods or spending time on the water.