Somewhere along the way, ambition and motherhood became positioned as opposites, as if choosing one meant sacrificing the other.

It’s a narrative I’ve struggled with endlessly over the last 15 years. I can’t tell you how much guilt I’ve felt, or how many tears I’ve cried, wondering why I felt such a strong drive inside me when pursuing it seemed to make my family’s life harder.

It would have been so much easier if I’d achieved my goal of becoming a stay-at-home mom and simply loved it. But that wasn’t my story.

Instead, I spent 10 years confused, wondering why I couldn’t just be grateful for my three healthy children, supportive husband and beautiful home.

For me, it took loads of personal work and surrounding myself with other creative, ambitious women to understand, love and appreciate this part of my personality. And as I’ve built YVR Creatives, I’ve realized I’m far from alone.

Countless mothers quietly wrestle with the same questions. We want fulfilling work. We want to contribute. We want to pursue the dreams we’ve carried for years. But we also don’t want to look back and wonder where the time went.

This month, I sat down with Dr. Meredith MacKenzie, psychologist, entrepreneur and mother of two, to talk about what ambition really looks like after children, and why presence may be the very thing that makes sustainable success possible.

What Does It Mean to Be an Ambitious Mom?

For many women, becoming a mother doesn’t erase ambition, it simply changes its shape. We stop chasing every opportunity and start asking better questions. What actually matters? What kind of life are we trying to build?

For Dr. Meredith MacKenzie, motherhood didn’t make her less ambitious. It made her more intentional.

How Does Ambition Change After Becoming a Mother?

“I used to collect gold stars. Every credential, every position, every opportunity — I wanted it all, and I was going to find a way to fit it in.

Motherhood honed that. I can’t pursue every interest anymore. I have a finite number of hours and a finite amount of energy, and I have to be genuinely intentional about where both go.

What surprised me is how much that constraint has actually benefited the business. The time pressure is real; sometimes I’m thinking about what I can accomplish in thirty minutes at my son’s swimming lesson, and that kind of focus moves things forward in a way that open-ended working time never did.”

“My ambition hasn’t shrunk. It’s just become more precise.“
-Dr. Meredith MacKenzie.

One of the biggest myths surrounding ambitious mothers is that wanting more somehow makes us selfish. I loved Meredith’s perspective because she challenges that assumption entirely.

Is It Selfish to Want More Than Motherhood?

“I want to be honest: I don’t really relate to that guilt. Wanting more has always felt like a given for me, not a question I needed permission to answer. I’ve been driven by something internal for as long as I can remember, and I had role models of women working in my life — so pursuing goals never felt like something I needed to justify.“

“That said, I do feel it in one specific place right now. My daughter is in full-time daycare, whereas my son was in care only two to three days a week at the same age. That’s a deliberate choice I’ve made for my career and my financial goals — and yes, I feel the weight of it. I want that time with her. So what I’ve committed to is being deeply intentional when I am with her: pulling her out of daycare one day most weeks for one-on-one time, and making sure those days are genuinely present and rich.”

“The guilt, when it does show up, pushes me toward intention rather than paralysis. That’s the difference, I think.”

The conversation shifted from internal guilt to the messages ambitious women receive from the world around them—and I think this is where Meredith articulated something many women feel but struggle to put into words.

Why Mothers’ Businesses Are Often Treated Like Hobbies

“I think it’s a bit more specific than that — particularly for women building something of their own.”

“When you step outside the predictable employed path and try to build a business, there’s an unspoken expectation that it fits in the margins. You work at naptime. You work after bedtime. Your pick-up schedule sets the ceiling on what you can accomplish. And because the early years of building something don’t always produce visible results, the business can quietly get labelled a hobby — by family, by friends, sometimes by the woman herself.”

“That framing is damaging because building something genuinely takes time. It requires a level of commitment and sustained energy that doesn’t always look productive to people watching from the outside. And when women internalize that “hobby” story, they start treating their own work as less legitimate, less deserving of real time and real boundaries.”

The pressure isn’t always “you’re being selfish.” Sometimes it’s just a quiet, accumulated message that what you’re doing doesn’t quite count yet.

Why Do Working Moms Feel Guilty About Their Careers?

Long before Meredith became a psychologist, business owner, and mother of two, she was chasing a dream she’d carried since childhood. But what happened next wasn’t part of the plan.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you can build a meaningful career while raising young children, you’re not alone. So many mothers feel pulled in two directions, trying to honour the woman they were before motherhood while embracing the woman they’re becoming.

For Meredith, that tension unfolded while she was completing her PhD, navigating infertility, becoming a first-time mom, and trying to hold onto every part of the life she’d worked so hard to build.

Can You Build a Career While Raising Young Children?

Take us back to the season when you were completing your PhD. What was life like at the time?

“Complicated, honestly. And exhausting in a way that I wasn’t fully admitting to myself at the time.

Getting into the PhD program at UBC felt like reaching the summit of a mountain I had been climbing for years. Every volunteer opportunity, every job I took before that — it was all intentional. All resume-building with that one goal in mind. So just getting accepted felt like I had finally made it somewhere I deeply wanted to be.

And then I didn’t put anything down.

On paper, a typical week looked like this: Monday through Friday, I was a full-time PhD student — attending classes on campus, lab meetings with my supervisor, practicums one to two days a week, reading, writing papers. In whatever margins existed around that, I was managing Parallel Wellness — overseeing clinicians, handling marketing, doing payroll, all of it. And then on weekends, I was moonlighting midnight shifts at a residential treatment centre for adolescents with the Ministry of Children and Family Development. Seven PM to seven AM, on the floor, working directly with kids and teens in mental health crisis.

I held onto that position because I was terrified of losing the seniority I had built. I didn’t want the PhD to be a pause. I really struggled with the idea that life had different seasons — that it was okay for things to look different in different chapters. I was petrified of slowing down, so I just… didn’t.

My PhD supervisor had no idea what my weekends looked like. I don’t think he would have approved.“

What motivated you to continue pursuing such a significant goal while becoming a mother?

“Finishing my PhD was never a question for me. Being Dr. Meredith MacKenzie is something I dreamed of since elementary school; it felt integral to who I was meant to become. So even when things got incredibly hard, stopping wasn’t something I considered.

What I didn’t anticipate was how many things would happen at once.

We moved to Newfoundland for the clinical residency portion of my program, and then COVID hit. Everything slowed to a stop. For us, that also meant losing access to fertility care at the exact moment we were starting to realise we needed it. So while I was still carrying the weight of an unfinished dissertation, we were also quietly navigating infertility in a province away from home.

We moved back to Vancouver in September, got into the fertility clinic in October, and by January we had our son Everett on the first IUI attempt. I was grateful beyond words — and also completely naïve about what pregnancy was going to do to my capacity to work.

I genuinely expected to finish my dissertation before he was born.

I did not finish my dissertation before he was born.

Perfectionism played a real role there. I had all nine of my research participants and data collected, and I spent weeks — weeks — writing up each individual profile, wanting this to be such a thorough representation of the work I had done. I was getting so deeply in my own way.

By the time my second pregnancy came along, I had learned enough to do things differently.

I set one clear goal: finish the dissertation.

I asked my husband to take four months of parental leave.

And I wrote when she slept and he took our son. Just wrote, and wrote, and wrote.

Motherhood gave me the compartmentalization I never could have developed on my own. When you only have a short window, the only things that happen in that window are the things that actually matter.

Like so many women, Meredith’s greatest challenge wasn’t simply finding the time. It was learning to navigate an entirely new version of herself.

How Motherhood Changes Your Identity and Capacity

Were there moments when you questioned whether you could do both?

“Postpartum with Everett was the first time I genuinely didn’t know if I could do this.

I had been diagnosed with postpartum anxiety, and nothing could have prepared me for how far away from myself I felt. I had no mental clarity. I was foggy, exhausted, and anxiously overwhelmed in a way I hadn’t experienced before. And in the middle of all of that, nothing mattered more than this small person. It was a full restructuring of my values, and it was disorienting in the best and hardest way.

I ended up working with a therapist — not just for the postpartum mental health piece, but specifically because I couldn’t get out of my own way with the dissertation. Every time I sat down to write, I felt blocked. I felt like I had nothing to offer the world of research. I felt, honestly, like I had become a little bit stupid.

My second pregnancy was, in some ways, harder physically. But I went into it differently.

I told myself:

You are not going to perform at your typical capacity.

You are going to work at fifty percent, and that is okay.

On a twenty percent day, you organize — you build out headings, you work on your reference list, you do whatever your brain can actually hold.

And that reframe helped me stop beating myself up and start chipping away instead.

The other thing that shifted was learning to ask for help.

Up until then, I was the most capable person in any room, and I handled things.

That version of me had to evolve.

Asking my husband directly — I need you. I need you to take this time. — that was new. It was a bit of a negotiation. He works in a trade where men don’t typically take four months off, and it took real conversation to get there.

But it made everything possible.

Why Slower Seasons Don’t Mean You’ve Lost Your Ambition

What stories do ambitious women tell themselves that you wish they would stop believing?

“That there’s a timeline.

That if it hasn’t happened by a certain age or stage, something has gone wrong.

I understand the impulse — having goals and holding yourself to them keeps you moving. But some seasons of life are genuinely slower, and fighting that reality doesn’t make things move faster. It just makes you feel behind in a race you invented.

And the other one: that ambition and motherhood are in competition.

Raising two small people is its own extraordinary pursuit.

The relationship I’m building with my children — watching them discover things, being there for the ordinary days — I don’t think my PhD or my business could ever match the weight of how meaningful that is.

That might sound like something people say without meaning it, but I genuinely feel it.

Motherhood is its own form of ambition.

Going slowly through a season of life doesn’t mean you’ve lost the thread.

It means you’re being a full person.“

Motherhood gave me the compartmentalisation I never could have developed on my own. When you only have a short window, the only things that happen in that window are the things that actually matter.”

-Dr Meredith Mackenzie

Is Work-Life Balance Actually Possible for Mothers?

Work-life balance is one of the most searched phrases among working mothers, but I wonder if we’ve been chasing the wrong thing all along. Maybe balance isn’t about giving equal time to everything. Maybe it’s about being fully present for whatever deserves our attention in that moment.

When I asked Meredith if women can truly be ambitious and present at the same time, her answer surprised me.

Can women be ambitious and present at the same time?

Yes. Without question.

I’d actually push it further: I think presence is part of what makes ambition possible over the long term.

Knowing how your choices are affecting you, your family, and your goals — being awake to that — is what allows you to keep going without burning everything down in the process.

The two aren’t in opposition.

They inform each other.

That answer naturally led to a bigger question. What does “being present” actually look like when you’re running a business, raising children, and trying to protect your own well-being?

What Does Being Present With Your Children Actually Look Like?

Yes — and I think presence is actually what makes ambition sustainable. Without it, you end up making decisions on autopilot, losing track of whether what you’re building is actually aligned with the life you want.

For me, presence is structural.

On a workday, it’s a workday — I’m not answering questions about school pickup logistics or mentally drafting emails while I’m reading to my kids.

On a day with my children, it’s a day with my children — I’m not checking my phone or taking calls.

I protect the evenings for rest rather than squeezing in more work, because I’ve learned that I need that quiet in order to show up the next day.

In practice, it looks simple: a Tuesday at home with my daughter means we’re going to the backyard, picking up McDonald’s for lunch, doing a movie afternoon.

There’s a plan, because I thrive on a plan.

But the whole day is just ours.

That specificity — knowing exactly what we’re doing and being fully in it — is how I experience presence.

It’s not a feeling I wait for. It’s a structure I create.

One thing I appreciated throughout our conversation was that Meredith never pretended guilt disappears. Instead, she shared how she’s learned to make decisions that honour both her ambitions and her family before guilt has a chance to take over.

How to Handle Working-Mom Guilt

I try hard not to let them collide in the first place. That means being honest — sometimes ruthlessly honest — about my actual capacity.

My son starts kindergarten in September, and school ends at two-thirty. So my workday ends at two-thirty.

My ambition does not end at two-thirty, and there will be days when that is genuinely hard. But I know what happens when I stretch past my real limits: resentment, frustration, and the sense that I’m failing at everything. I don’t want that for my family, and I don’t want it for myself.

What helps is the mindset I come back to constantly:

I get to do this. Not I have to.

These are choices I’ve made, and the business I’ve built is something I genuinely love. Any time I get to spend on it is a gift.

That reframe makes the constraints feel less like a cage and more like a container that protects everything I actually care about.

What Does Self-Compassion Look Like for Ambitious Mothers?

What have you learned about self-compassion through this journey?

That it’s not a feeling — it’s a practice of choosing differently.

Self-compassion, for me, looks like not working in the evenings even when the pull is strong.

It looks like recognizing when I’m disappointed —like missing a YVR Creatives lunch-and-learn because it falls right in the middle of my highest-focus work hours, and sitting with that disappointment without spiralling into guilt.

It looks like acknowledging that I want more social connection and then making intentional choices to build it in elsewhere, rather than sacrificing the hours that keep my business moving.

And it looks like not beating myself up for being human.

Do I wish I had a stronger, more consistent relationship with movement right now?

Yes.

Is that realistic at this stage of life?

No.

I’m balancing a lot of plates.

I think I’m doing a pretty good job.

How Can Working Moms Quiet Their Inner Critic?

What does your inner critic sound like during busy seasons?

I’ve done a lot of work on this, and I think I’ve genuinely developed a deep — possibly delusional — level of faith in myself.

But in busy seasons, the critic does show up.

It usually sounds like:

Why can’t you do this? Suck it up.

It comes from frustration — frustration that I get tired now in a way I didn’t before kids, that my mental bandwidth has real edges, that I can’t just push through the way I used to.

There’s grief in that, honestly.

I miss the version of me who could work until midnight and bounce back.

Before I had reliable childcare, it was worse.

I was trying to do everything in the margins — nap time, bedtime, spare moments — and it felt scattered and frantic.

Once I had dedicated work time, that particular flavour of self-criticism mostly quieted down.

Structure did more for my inner critic than any mindset work.

“Presence isn’t a feeling I wait for. It’s a structure I create.”

-Dr Meredith MacKenzie

How to Be More Present Without Giving Up Your Dreams

One of the biggest misconceptions about ambitious women is that success comes from doing more. More hours. More hustle. More sacrifice.

But after listening to Meredith’s story, I realized that’s not what helped her finish a PhD while raising two young children and building a successful business.

It was better systems. Better boundaries. Better support.

What Systems Help Working Moms Protect Their Time?

What are some systems, habits, or mindsets that have helped you navigate motherhood and entrepreneurship?

I’m very invested in building systems right now — using AI tools like Claude to create structured workflows, using Asana to track projects and communicate with my assistant, and time-blocking my calendar so I’m genuinely focused on one thing at a time rather than pulled in several directions.

A content creation window, a deep work window, an admin window — each one protected.

The mindset piece is this:

I only have this much bandwidth.

That’s not a failure.

It’s a fact.

And working within it honestly produces better results than stretching past it and burning out.

Why Ambitious Moms Need Strategic Support

What advice would you give to a woman with young children who has a dream she’s afraid to pursue right now?

Talk to other women who are actually doing it.

Not just for encouragement — for strategy.

I’ve been in the position of working hard without direction, spinning my wheels, spending time away from my children without making meaningful progress.

I would hate for any woman to go through that.

Connect with people who are a few steps ahead, who can help you be more intentional with the limited hours you have.

The goal isn’t just to pursue the dream —

It’s to pursue it in a way that actually moves forward.

How to Build a Support System for Your Ambition

What advice would you give women who feel unsupported in pursuing their goals?

Build your village.

I know that phrase gets overused in conversations about motherhood, but it applies just as much to building something of your own.

Find the women who understand the particular kind of work you’re doing — not just supporters in the general sense, but people who are in it too, who you can co-work with, mastermind with, problem-solve alongside.

Look for ways to share responsibilities and collaborate.

Create the network that reflects back the version of you that you’re trying to build.

It doesn’t need to be as lonely as it can feel.

The community exists.

Sometimes you have to create it yourself.

Have there been people who surprised you in how they supported your ambitions?

The entrepreneurial women in my community — the women in networks like YVR Creatives — have been an unexpected and genuine source of belonging.

There’s something that happens when you’re in a room with women who get it, who understand why you love Mondays, who don’t see your business as a hobby phase you’ll eventually grow out of.

I feel understood there in a way that’s harder to find elsewhere.

And my husband, for all the complexity of navigating two different work cultures within one household, showed up for me in the most concrete way possible when I needed it.

Four months of parental leave, taken in a trade industry where that just isn’t the norm.

That was real, tangible support, and it made the last stretch of the PhD possible.

How Ambition Can Change Relationships and Family Dynamics

How has your growth impacted your relationships, friendships, or family dynamics?

I don’t think anyone in my life is surprised by my ambition — it’s never been something I’ve kept quiet.

But there are people in my family who don’t fully understand it, who may not see running your own business as legitimate in the way a corporate role or steady employment would feel to them.

I’ve made peace with that because I’ve also realized that their framework is too narrow to evaluate what I’m doing.

Their opinion doesn’t carry much weight when they don’t have the full picture.

Where it’s been genuinely hard is in friendships with women who are full-time employed in roles they don’t love — who count down to the weekend, who don’t feel the same pull toward their work that I feel toward mine.

That’s a real gap to bridge.

Not because they’re wrong, but because we’re living such different internal experiences of work.

My relationship with my partner has had its own challenges.

He’s an employee.

At five o’clock, the workday ends for him.

For me, there’s always something calling — an idea, a task, a thing I just need to jump in and finish.

That difference in how we experience work can be hard to explain to someone who hasn’t felt it.

We’ve navigated it, but it’s an ongoing conversation.

I only have this much bandwidth. That’s not a failure. It’s a fact.”

Dr. Meredith MacKenzie

The Truth About Ambition and Motherhood

Over the years, Meredith has become a woman I look to with such respect; she is brilliant, so damn ambitious and incredibly dedicated to her family and relationships. My conversations with Meredith regularly remind me that ambition and motherhood don’t have to exist in opposition.

We’re allowed to want meaningful work and a deeply connected family life, even when balancing the two feels messy. The goal isn’t to get it perfectly right every day, but to build a life that honours every part of who we are.

Our ambition isn’t something to feel guilty about; it’s part of us, and our children get to witness what it looks like when a woman values her dreams, her family and herself.

Connect With Dr. Meredith MacKenzie

Dr. Meredith MacKenzie is a Provisional Psychologist, Registered Clinical Counsellor, and founder of Parallel Wellness and Meredith MacKenzie Coaching & Consulting, based in Vancouver, BC. She specialises in eating disorder recovery, intuitive eating, and body image — and recently completed her PhD in Counselling Psychology at the University of British Columbia.

www.MeredithMacKenzie.ca
@Dr.MeredithMackenzie

www.ParallelWellness.ca
@ParallelWellness

You may also enjoy, 7 Ways to Protect Your Ambition Without Missing Your Life

About the Author

Christine Coughlin is a content creator and the founder of YVR Creatives, a community dedicated to helping female entrepreneurs share their message, build meaningful connections, and grow their businesses.

She helps women amplify their voices through in-person events and VIP content-creation days by guiding them to feel confident on camera and to create impactful content.

Christine also curates inspiring in-person events, including monthly masterminds, social events, and lunch-and-learns, offering opportunities for women to network, share knowledge, and connect within a supportive aligned community.

Christine lives in the suburbs of Vancouver with her husband, three kids, and one million plant babies. A self-proclaimed personal development junkie, she finds peace and inspiration in nature, whether hiking through the woods or spending time on the water.